McCain can run, but he can't hide from Sheriff Biden

Alright folks, it's time we take a little refresher course in politics, country, and gimmickry. John McCain is trying to spin things, trying to tell everyone that he's putting his "country" first when he puts "politics" aside so that he can go to Congress and try to help them "get stuff done". Well, listen, I've known a gimmick or two in my life, and this one's a classic. Let's look at the facts here. Number one, the economy is doing terrible. I mean just God awful. I mean, the other day, I was walking through the streets of Cincinatti, and a little kid, couldn't be more than five years old, wearing rags for clothes, chimney ash on his face, smelt like dog crap, walked up to me and said, "Mr. Biden, my daddy got fired because the mean corporation sent his job to India to be done by some wog." I stopped him right there and told him, look, first of all, this is America, you can't say "wog" here. Uncle Joe learned that the hard way. Second of all, you want your daddy to get his job back, you go and tell him to vote for Mr. Obama and Mr. Biden, because we're looking out for him and other white men living in Ohio, Pennsylvania, Michigan, Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Virginia just like him. Then he asked me for some money for lunch, but I was only carrying Benjamins, so I couldn't help him out. I mean, it just wouldn't be right of me to put that kind of a burden on a kid, give him a hundred bucks to carry around. What if he loses it? Then he's got the double burden on his head of ruining his family's only chance to eat, and costing Big Joe a hundred big ones. I just can't abide by dong that to a little kid; George Bush has already punished him enough. And that's the thing to remember here: the economy is doing so terrible because of George Bush. Look, I understand the economy, because the economy is like me. That is, it's made up of people like me, people who grew up in Scranton and work hard for a living and take the train to work everyday and would also be Senators if they weren't busy doing the jobs that need to be done to keep America running strong and proud. This is a Biden economy, and let me tell you what Biden thinks of George W. Bush: I don't like him. I don't like his policies, I don't like his appointees, and I don't like his face. I don't like George Bush, and the economy doesn't like him either, and the economy's been letting him know that lately by tanking. It's like the economy is a monkey, and he walked up to it holding a banana, and then pulled the banana away. Well you know what a monkey does when you do that? It throws poop! We've got an economy that's slinging poop everywhere, and it's all Bush's fault, and I'd say you can take that to the bank, but you can't, 'cause guess what: the bank's going out of business, because George Bush is a terrible man. And when I tell you that George Bush is a terrible man, you might say, "Oh, Joe, you old good-looking coot, what're you talking about that there George Bush for? He's not running for office again! He's got them fancy term limits I keep hearing so much about on the Fox News." Well, let me tell you something they won't tell you on Fox News: John McCain is like an older, more POWy version of George Bush, and giving him to Congress while we're in the middle of a financial crisis is like giving a poop gun to an angry monkey: it's just bad news. That's how Joe sees it, and Joe has 20/10 vision, just like Ted Williams.